


Dad Jokes

by dcisamtyler



Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Jokes, Cheesy, F/M, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25395151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcisamtyler/pseuds/dcisamtyler
Summary: Based on a request on Tumblr.When your boyfriend, Alec Hardy is being a bit of a grump, you decide to cheer him up in the only way you know how: bad, cheesy jokes.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Reader, Alec Hardy/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	Dad Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> I had no idea one of my home states had a dad joke, so I simply had to include it when I was researching terrible jokes, hahaha. Hope you enjoy!

“Are you sure you don’t want any, babe?” you asked. You dipped a small chip in ketchup and popped it into your mouth, waiting a beat before shoving the paper plate into your boyfriend’s view, tilting your head at it. Of course, you knew your boyfriend Alec Hardy like the back of your hand. This effort was completely useless – the beautiful, yet skinny bastard never had much of an appetite, preferring a quick cup of tea to anything else.

Still, you waited, holding it out in front of him, hoping he would actually humor you for once. In a last-ditch effort, you insisted, “They’re actually very good. Probably the best in all of Broadchurch” and shrugged sweetly.

But as expected, Alec waved it away with a frown and recoiled, biting back a heavy sigh through his teeth. You watched carefully, eyes filling with concern as he leaned away from you, his body leaning towards an awkwardly close couple chasing a wily toddler who was running straight for you. The boy cheered and giggled as the father rolled his eyes in apology, once again failing to catch him as he nearly tripped in front of Alec.

Yet, somehow, Alec didn’t seem to notice. He kept his gaze trained on the horizon, his chocolate-brown eyes clouded with a sadness you couldn’t place – exhaustion, frustration, possibly pure apathy. It hurt. Since the two of you wandered out to the beach together after a quick stop for chips, he had barely spoken, his only responses consisting of curt whispers and noncommittal hums. While you loved him more than anything in the world, silence simply wasn’t your strong suit. It drove you crazy when you felt you couldn’t speak, and he knew that.

Alec also knew that he worried you in a lot of ways, which is why it bothered you that he pushed away the food you offered. You knew that he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Your close friend and his partner, DS Ellie Miller insisted the only thing she saw him eat was a small piece of burnt toast from the station kitchen. And even then, she only saw him take small bites, instead choosing to focus on a thick pile of files regarding their latest case – a sexual assault.

That was very Alec. You admired him and his work as a DI, but you hated what he gave to be that successful. Most days he would give his entire body to the job, starving himself and sacrificing emotions. There were some days you were certain he crawled into bed sometime in the early morning, his stomach gnawing away at him because he worked all day and didn’t bother to eat.

You loved your relationship with Alec. Most times, the grumpy Scot was the most loving and devoted man you had ever met, and yet, sometimes, he could be the coldest. He’d retreat and withdraw without telling you why. And when you came around to the source of his brooding, it was almost always related to work. Not quite a surprise.

So while it frustrated you that Alec suggested sitting on the beach and grabbing chips from your favorite spot, it didn’t exactly shock you that he couldn’t help but start brooding.

The two of you simply sat in silence, listening to the waves crash on the shore, and the faint giggles of the little boy, now being dragged off the beach by his tired parents. You could hear Alec breathing next to you, his little sighs cutting through your chest. You couldn’t stand seeing him like this.

“Alec,” you pleaded, placing the plate next to you on the sand. “Look at me.”

Alec acted as if he hadn’t heard you, biting his lip. His suit coat sat tight on his shoulders as his arms rested on his knees. 

You just wanted to see happy Alec again. The one who practically choked on his tongue while fumbling for the words to ask you out on your first date. The one who took you to an arcade in a suit, spending a ridiculous amount of money and time to win you the cute teddy bear you wanted. The one who slept at your house more than his own because he fell asleep easier when he could nuzzle his face in your neck.

After a moment, Alec didn’t look at you, but he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. "I'm sorry," he grumbled, his bearded chin resting on the top of your head. “It’s just...work, I –“

“No, don’t talk about it.”

Alec’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “What?”

You pulled yourself out of his grasp and stood up, offering up your hand to help him up. “Alec Hardy, you’re the love of my life, and it is my job to make you smile. So let’s not talk about yours.”

“Okay,” he replied. His eyes filled with confusion but a faint smile played on his lips as he watched you, waiting to see what you were going to do. He reached out for your wrist, catching your hand to pull you into his body again. This was the Alec you wanted – the beautiful, loving Alec who couldn’t help but need to feel your touch for comfort.

A smirk played on your lips, though, the sight of Alec left you starry-eyed. You swallowed, reaching up to touch his cheek. “I have a question for you.”

Suddenly, Alec froze. “What?”

The smirk on your face grew, mischief dancing in your eyes. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes?”

Alec softened under your touch and he stared down at you blankly, most likely seeing where it was going. “Why, Y/N?”

“Because they’d all crack each other up!” 

You watched, waiting for a crack of a grin – something in reaction to the dumb joke you just told him, but he just shook his head, a bit of a sigh leaving his mouth before he leaned down to kiss you. “That wasn’t funny.”

Playfully bristling in his arms, you sent him a glare. You weren’t particularly intimidating to the tall, grumpy Scotsman, but you still tried feigning offense. He licked his lips, moving to kiss you again, but you pulled away. You were going to make the man laugh.

“You know, I’ve got a great joke about construction,” you began, your chin resting on his chest. “But I’m still working on it.”

Alec awkwardly cleared his throat. Nothing.

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?”

“Why?”

“It was two-tired.”

There was a twinkle in Alec’s eyes at that one, but he still didn’t crack a smile. He seemed to be getting a kick out of you trying, though, because he gave you a little squeeze as the breeze rustled through your hair.

“Okay, okay, I have a good one,” you insisted, putting both of your hands on Alec’s chest. He seemed to smirk now at your confidence, an eyebrow raised. “How does a penguin build its house?”

Alec narrowed his eyes playfully, his Scottish brogue catching on the words as he asked, “I don’t know, Y/N. Please, tell me how.”

“Igloos it together!”

The punchline got no real reaction from Alec, but he gave a fake chuckle. “That was hilarious, love.”

“What U.S state has the most streets?”

Alec waited, muttering a quick “But who cares,” before tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, waiting for the answer.

“Rhode Island!”

“That’s an actual state?” Alec asked sarcastically. When you looked at him, he feigned innocence, his face lighting up in amusement at his own sarcastic jest.

Pouting, you wrapped your arms around Alec’s neck. How could he not give a little chuckle at your horrible jokes? You sure thought they were cute – keeping them in the back of your mind whenever you needed to cheer someone up. But they didn’t seem to work for your boyfriend. He was practically immune to the cheesiness of it.

“How could you not like dad jokes? You are – quite literally – a dad!”

Alec didn’t respond. He simply moved one of his hands under your chin, his lips inches from yours before he asked in a whisper, “What did the coffee report to the police?”

At the sight of your parted lips, he finally smiled a bit. “A mugging.”

Your mouth dropped open and finally, Alec laughed, the smile reaching his ears.


End file.
